Today's my 17th Birthday...

Hi everyone reading my blog....guess what? Today was my 17th birthday! Geez...I was gonna be 17 on Earth today. Mom and Dad took me to my most favorite place to be....the MOVIES!!! I went with Mom, Dad, my little brothers and my Grammie and my Aunt Missy. They saved a seat for me and believe me I took that seat and enjoyed my time there. We saw Finding Nemo in 3D. I saw this movie lots of times because we own it. However, this time watching it was extra special....because I had my whole family watching it with me! Later, my family released balloons for me. I had a nice birthday. I love you all so much!

This video is more my style Mom!

Phil Collins - You'll Be In My Heart with Lyrics

Mommy is trying to fight for my life again. I will catch her when she falls. She is weak.....but I am strong....through me, she will keep trying to fight. We have each other.....it will be alright......Hold on to my heart.

Christmas In Heaven

Toy Story "You've Got A Friend In Me" music video

2 Years Today....

Hi Angel. I miss you. Daddy misses you too.....so so much. It's been 2 years today since you've been gone. I hope I get through this day. I'm sitting on the couch holding you. I want to open this box and hold your ashes but I don't think I can because I may really "lose" it then. It's bad enough already holding you this way. Oh Jared.....what's to become of me? I truly thought the rest of my life was to take care of you but now that you're gone, I just can't understand what I'm supposed to do. I can't even be happy without guilt inside. I think I just don't allow myself to do it because I punish myself for not trying harder the day you suffered and I hear you inside saying...."Mommy...help me please." and I never did...and for that I am so sorry. I just wish you would have come back after your brain death to tell me you forgave me because now I have to live with this for the rest of my life. I carry this grief with me every day and try my best not to show it around others. I never knew what a heartache felt like until you left. What can we do today for you to show us your right here next to us? Please show us a sign. You know me in feeling these things.....because even though I'm hurting inside I still believe.....I love you so much Jared.....Mommy